Riley Finn Woke Up Gay
by Cath1
Summary: My first Buffy fic. Riley woke up gay. And he liked it. Slash, but most definitely not serious. Also bit of B/A


Riley Woke Up Gay

Riley Woke Up Gay

Author: Cath

Feedback: Muchly appreciated: [button_mush@hotmail.com][1]

Disclaimer: Like I'd ever want to own Riley... Or Buffy at the moment... 

Summary: Riley woke up gay. And he liked it. 

Archive: Wherever you like... whenever you like... just let me know where to visit...

Notes: This is my first Buffy fic, and is intended with all my heart to be humourous. It may fail greatly in this quest, but the intention is there, so laugh… Sadly the concept of waking up gay is not mine, there is a whole page dedicated to it, and Riley may even have woken up gay in the past already. 

~*~ Riley Woke Up Gay ~*~ 

Riley woke up gay, although he didn't know it. All he knew was that the sun was shining brighter than ever before, the birds singing in the trees was simply delightful and the green green grass of the lawn was of such a vibrant colour that he couldn't imagine how he'd manage to miss it before. He jumped out of bed and into the shower, and was about as happy as a bunny when he turned on his shower radio to hear the dulcet tones of Celine Dion belting out his favourite song from Titanic, 'My Heart Will Go On'. He sang along, pleased that he knew the words to all of it, and could reach every high and low note that she sang. 

He quickly finished in the shower, and then took twenty minutes deciding what outfit would best compliment him and which was most appropriate to the way that he was going to spend the day. He looked critically in his closet, upset that there was nothing suitable, and deciding that he needed a shopping excursion sometime this week. He managed to find a pair of jeans that weren't too rumpled and ironed them before locating his favourite sleeveless t-shirt with the words 'Daisy Chain' printed across it, which he had borrowed from Buffy. The words were accompanied by a collection of flowers in a long inter-linking chain, and he thought that it became him wonderfully. 

Finally came the issue of what to do with his hair. Should he blow-dry it straight or use copious amounts of hair wax or gel in order to style it? It took him a further twenty minutes to decide, and when the decision came to him that using gel would be the best look, his hair had already dried anyway. 

He skipped downstairs, and grabbed some cereal and ate it whilst reading a magazine that Buffy had left behind when she last came. He agreed that yes, George Clooney was far sexier than Bruce Willis, had discovered the best way to get his body into shape for that summer bikini and had read the top 10 sex tips for this week. He was ready to go. 

He got into his car, putting his 'Backstreet Boys' tape on as high as it would go, singing along proudly to the music as he drove along. He finally made it to the shop where they all hung out, got out of his car, decided that there needed to be some flowers outside in order to brighten it up, and entered smiling widely. 

And it was then that he spotted the most divine creature he had ever laid eyes on. He felt ashamed, they'd known each other for so long, ever since Buffy had come into his life, really, but this person had someone else. Alas, Xander would have to be lusted after from afar. 

"Hey Riley!" Anya greeted, looking up from the counter where she was reading something. 

"Lovely day, isn't it?" Riley said, tearing his eyes away from his object of desire. 

Anya regarded him with a strange look. "Riley, it's cold, it's windy and it's wet. It couldn't be a worse day." 

"But don't you just love the feel of the rain pouring down on your head, the wind rushing past your ears, whooshing as it goes by, the feel of being able to go inside and sit down next to a roaring fire, a warm cup of cocoa in your hands?" Riley asked sincerely. He was speaking from his heart for the first time in a long time, and it felt right.

"Sure, whatever." Anya replied staring at Riley so that he felt almost uncomfortable. 

"Xander, what about you?" Riley inquired, longing to hear his loved one speak. "Surely you of all people agree with me?" He asked, bending down onto his knees in order to attain some sort of closeness to Xander.

"I... I really couldn't care less." Xander admitted. Riley felt his heart sink. He was still unaware why Xander made him feel like he did, why Xander mattered so much to him, but then he didn't know that he had woken up gay. Then Buffy and her entourage entered from the back room where she had been training, and walked up to Riley and attempted to give him a kiss. "Hey Riley." She said.

"Hey Buffy." Riley greeted cheerfully. "Wow, I really love your outfit, it is so very co-ordinated. Simply darling. And your shoes, where did you buy them?" Riley asked, captivated. Buffy came no closer to him, pulling back from the kiss that she was about to give him. "Okay, who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?" She asked suspiciously, looking around with the look of someone who is familiar with such strange acts. 

"Nothing, there's nothing wrong, I simply woke up and everything was wonderful. The birds were singing, the trees were swaying gently in the breeze, Celine Dion was playing on the radio, all was well in God's perfectly created world." He told her, grabbing her hands and pulling them to his lips. "And then I saw what you were wearing and I remembered that you had fabulous taste in clothes. In fact, I was considering going on a shopping spree and was wondering if you would care to join me. It will be so much fun. Willow, Anya, Tara perhaps you would like to join us? And Xander, you know that you are always more than welcome." He finished, blushing. Giles looked from Riley to everyone else in the room. "I must say, I've never heard of a demon that can turn people gay before now." He informed everyone. 

"My boyfriend is gay?" Buffy asked incredulously. 

"It seems that he is. Riley, have you had any other symptoms? Have you had a need to use your hands more expressively than usual? Been thinking more about other peoples needs before your own? Started to appreciate the amount of trouble that women put into their appearance?" Giles asked him. 

Riley was amazed, maybe he was gay afterall! Maybe he had been gay all along? But he couldn't remember feeling like this before today.

"Yes, all of those. But why haven't I felt like this before?" Riley asked. 

"It seems that you have encountered the phenomenon which is called 'wakus up gayus', translated means that you've woken up gay. It happens occasionally, and there doesn't seem to be any pattern to it at all. It can affect anyone." Giles told Riley, and Riley knew that it must be true. Giles was never wrong, and Riley respected him for it. 

"I woke up gay?" He asked speculatively, repeating it several more times. "I woke up gay, I woke up gay!" Each time he repeated he had more enthusiasm for his predicament, finally jumping and dancing round the room singing "I woke up gay! I woke up gay!" Everyone else watched him with utter disbelief, except for Giles who was familiar with the situation. 

"In fact, I actually woke up gay several weeks ago." Giles admitted, looking round the room, holding his head in shame. However everyone was immediately supportive of his announcement, suggesting that perhaps it was meant to be. 

Finally Riley calmed down, and they all decided to go to the cemetery in order to exercise the demons, give them somewhat of a run around, etc, since they had nothing else pressing to do. Everyone else went their separate ways, Tara and Willow together in one, Giles, Anya and Xander in another direction and finally Buffy and Riley. Riley was upset that Xander didn't want to come with him and Buffy, but he understood. Anya and Giles needed some sort of protection and Xander was the best person to give this because he was so strong and fearless... 

Riley thought about what he had to say and finally came out with it. "You do know that because I'm gay we can't see each other anymore?" He said tactfully as possible.

"Oh well, never mind." Buffy replied. "I've still got a bit of a thing for Angel, anyway. I was just using you in hopes that you could come up with some sort of cure for his predilection towards anger after we've... you know." Riley was happy that this wasn't going to change Buffy's life too much, and so gave her a hug. "I love you, girl." He told her, and he knew that they both realised that it was purely platonic.

"Now lets go kick some vampire ass!" He proclaimed, his eyes lighting up, his arms flailing about dramatically. 

They roamed around the cemetery and eventually came upon Spike. Riley looked at him, then looked again. He liked what he saw. With Xander it had been a mere crush, this was love at first gay awakened sight. With that bleach blonde hair, the leather jacket and the body, Riley decided that he had never seen anything quite as appealing. Ever. 

"Spike, I just adore that black motif you've got going on, it really does suit you!" Riley said seriously. To his surprise, unlike the others, Spike giggled.

"Really?" He asked shyly. "I was beginning to think that black was a little outdated. However I do think that your pink t-shirt is simply darling. Did you choose it yourself?" He asked sincerely. 

"Sadly, no, it was Buffy's, but I think it becomes me well, what do you think?" Riley asked, wanting to know Spike's opinion more than anything he'd ever wanted before. 

"Give us a twirl." Spike said, whilst Buffy looked on in amazement, her mouth wide open in shock. Riley did as asked. "I've never seen anything fit you more perfectly." Spike said after a while. "Although you could do with something else." He put his hand under his chin in a thoughtful posture.

"I've got it!" Spike declared, running back briefly to his hideout. He came back a few minutes later with a pair of tight leather trousers (pants...). "I found these at the mall the other night and I just had to buy them. I want you to have them." Spike said, as Riley looked the item up and down in amazement.

"But I couldn't! It's just far too lovely for words, but they're yours!" Riley proclaimed, not noticing as a group of vicious demons came upon them in order to attack. Buffy was still shocked and speechless and powerless to do anything to prevent the demons from attacking. 

"No, really, don't think of it as a gift, think of it as a loan." Spike declared. "They'll look better on you anyway." He said, holding them out to Riley. Riley started crying.

"I can't believe this, you are just too kind for words. Thank you, thank you!" He said, dissolving into wailing tears of appreciation. The demons that were about to attack stopped still, mirroring Buffy's shock at the whole scene. Riley tried on the pants and they fit perfectly. 

"They look lovely." Spike announced, almost in tears with the whole sentimental scene before him. 

"Thank you!" Riley said once again, giving Spike an impromptu hug. Spike relaxed into it, finally surrendering to his urges to kiss Riley, and they shared a long passionate kiss. Buffy looked on in shock and said nothing. They kissed again, before Riley pulled slowly away for air.

"I think I love you!" He said quietly. "Ever since I woke up gay this morning, life has been so wonderful, and I think I want to share my life with you!"

Spike began to cry, as did the demons who had now overcome their shock. 

"I've been waiting for this moment ever since I woke up gay three weeks ago!" He said. "I love you too!" They kissed again. The demons only cried harder. And louder. Buffy stood and looked on in shock and bewilderment. 

Suddenly Angel came upon them. "Let's blow this popsicle stand." He proclaimed to Buffy, who was still standing in shock and said nothing as Angel whisked her away somewhere more inviting. 

Riley finally stopped crying and embraced his gayness. And Spike. 

For Riley had woken up gay. And he'd not change it for the world. 

The end...

   [1]: mailto:button_mush@hotmail.com



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